At least you know how to read.

License Plate Phenonenoms!

The Job Search

Having spent the entirety of the last two months applying and being rejected from a multitude of potential jobs, I have found the only way to cope with this life-crushing reality is to appreciate the absurdity of job qualification listings. Here are a few examples with more to follow:

- Apple Inventory Specialist: Reinventing the art of shipping and receiving
- Internal Plant Maintenance: This was described as basically being a gardener for indoor plants. It's like calling lawn mowing: External Flora Removal Specialist.
- Environmental Services Technician: aka Janitor. And this was their tagline:
I don't just vacuum, dust and sanitize; I'm leading the attack on germs.

I don't just make things look and smell good; I make sure no one else gets sick.

The True Heroes

This Is Real Life.

26 months. Two goddamn years, only to come back to be in the same position in life I was at before I left. When I finish with this, I'll have a job lined up or at least have a better idea of what I want to do and how to do it. Nope dot com.

Literally...

Just around the corner

Well? What are you waiting for?

And tell Hanna to come

Nothing behind this door...

The Fall of MegaPole

A pole falls in Morocco and there are no police around...is chalk still drawn along the outline?



For all problems with MegaPole, please refer to the MegaPole Office.

Nice to meet you Mr. Tree

Ghizlane...Jizz Lane?

Really...

How much of a carbon footprint does a fleshlight give off?

Saaassy!

Om nom nom nom nom

Oooh...too bad!

Brush Your Teefers

Yeah, you see it right.

They are paving the dirt road in town and one of the trucks bumped into the electrical pole and bent it in half. Rather than wait to fix it, they decided to bury the wire underneath the road. The soon-to-be-paved road. I don't see any problems with this

Can't Talk...Lumberjack!

So...

This is a drawing from a kid in my sister's classroom...

biggy biggy biggy, can't you see, how your cocoa satisfies me...

i also would have accepted "is that a biggy in your pocket..."

Greatest Desert in the World...

and this is what we write on it!

combing the sand

Sure...Job Site

It's what I've always said...

Welcome to the New Year